It’s been a herky-Jerky return from a great vacation (though bipolar may be the more appropriate term, I prefer herky-jerky). On the one hand, my energy level is low and I am fighting a cold. On the other hand, life as been extremely busy (though I must admit the NCAA basketball tournament is a contributor to the situation).
Wednesday morning I found myself sincerely wanting to write this, while also struggling to muster enough mental energy to do so. Mental energy drainage, I believe, is my main issue. Some things in life are not nearly ideal right now (or according to my expectations). And the struggle to “deal with it” (that is, trust God, pray, and adjust) wears me out.
However, as I herkily-jerkily re-enter into ministry, I find I am not the only one struggling. Truth be told, most others are fighting issues much bigger than mine. And, amazing grace how sweet the sound, as I share the Good News of God’s Gospel promises with them, some of the blessings bounce back upon me! Perhaps the old adage of “preacher heal yourself” caries some truth.
Or, put differently, this Thursday’s Thirst if more for me than it is for anyone else.
I don’t like it when things do not go as I expect them to go. I don’t like it when things take longer than they should according to my thoughts. I don’t like it when 3-4 things are happening at the same time, forcing my herky-jerky participation and mental status.
Or, as I must admit, I don’t always adjust so easily to God’s plans, thoughts, and timing.
I am a fallen, rebellious, thinks-he-knows-it-all, creature living in a fallen world. Yet, in spite of my herky-jerky behavior and attitude, Jesus still loves me, forgives me, and leads me on – directing me back to his most simple, clear, and comforting promises.
So, as I said a moment ago, these words of his are for me today (though they do come with the prayer that they will help you, too): “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23)
And these words from Jesus’ own lips. “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me … And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28.18-20)
I tell you what – I will keep praying for you if you keep praying for me … and even if you don’t … though there certainly will be times when my prayers and behavior are a bit herky-jerky.
