As I started reading the book I was not impressed. It was obvious to me that the authors either knew nothing about or totally disagreed with the concept of original sin and human limitations. They seemed to be pushing the concept that “you can do anything you put your mind to as long as you try hard enough.” And I hope you realize this simply is not true. However, I read on – hoping that such a popular book with monster reviews would have some value. And I am glad I did – even though I am still not sure that they understand the challenges and limitations that all humans have because we are, by nature, sinful and finite creatures.
Of course, this required a little “re-framing” in my mind. The book needed to be viewed in light of sanctification, not justification. In this light it made sense … and is even quite valuable. As people who have been “buried with (Christ) by baptism into death, in order that … we too might walk in newness of life” (Romans 6.4), we live lives of gratitude that flow from the freedom and opportunities Christ provides. Or, as the author puts it, we are called to daily recognize the gain over the gap.
What is the book?” you ask. “The Gap and the Gain” by Dan Sullivan (founder of Strategic Coach) with Dr. Benjamin Hardy. It has the subtitle “The High Achievers’ Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success.” Though in many places I prefer my vocabulary over the authors’ and come away feeling they may well have a Mormon orientation, I found the book valuable and recommend you read it.
The basic concept is that our life (daily, weekly, annually, etc.) has three “stages” (my term). #1 is where we START. #2 is what we have ACHIEVED. #3 is our IDEAL (or goal). With this he suggests that we are always achieving something beyond where we started, but what we achieve seldom – if ever – reaches our ideal. In other words, in our life (daily, weekly, annually, etc.) there is always GAIN between where we started and what we have achieved. At the same time, there is always a GAP between what we have achieved and our ideal. And the key to “happiness, confidence, and success” (his terms) is that we measure everything by the GAIN and not the GAP.
Allow me to say this with the authors’ terms. “You’re in the GAP every time you measure yourself or your situation against an ideal.” (xxiii) “Being in the GAIN means you measure yourself backward, against where you were before.” (xxvii) “When an experience is framed in the GAP, you haven’t learned from it. You haven’t taken ownership of it. Until you actively learn from a GAP-experience, you’re stuck. You won’t be able to move forward until you frame the experience as a GAIN. Until you choose to be grateful for the experience and better off because it happened.” (xxix)
While he applies this in many diverse ways and quotes many successful athletes, entrepreneurs, etc., I am focusing upon one specific application. I am actually working on making this a new habit, connecting a simple activity to my nighttime prayers (and my morning ones, too).
And so I am also suggesting that you analyze what you think of what he says here: “What you do during the hour before bed sets the tone for the rest of your life. This is where your deepest habits are formed. How you end your day doesn’t only determine how well you sleep. It dictates when you’ll wake up. It orders how clear and directed you are when you awake. It decides how committed and sold you are on what you’ll do and who you’ll be the next day. It defines how effective and alert you’ll be the next day. … Without a clear and committed plan, you become reactive to what’s around you and reactive to your own lack of energy. Reactivity breeds more reactivity.” (119) He then recommends that we measure three wins daily.
Let me tell you how I am putting this together … or at least attempting to (oops – as I here admit that I am not yet regularly succeeding at this I am functioning in the GAP – measuring myself against my ideal and not by what I’ve gained thus far!) At his suggestion, I make two little journal entries at the end of my day. Nothing fancy or lengthy (though it could be). #1 lists three items from the previous 24 hours for which I am grateful (He calls this listing three GAINS). Then, #2, I write down three wins I would like to accomplish tomorrow. I think you know the power of three … so we are urged to keep each list at the three most significant and important.
Then, once I am in bed, I am tacking the recollection of these two lists onto my prayers. I am sure you have your own routine. Mine includes Luther’s Evening Prayer, Confession, Psalm 51.10-13, the Apostles Creed, the Lord’s Prayer, and “Now I lay Me”. And then I thank God for the three gains with which he has blessed me during the day and a request for his blessing upon my plan for the morrow.
The first night I tried this I slept better than I had in a long time. Then I failed to do it a few nights. Tuesday night I returned to this new routine but did not sleep all that well. What does this tell me? I am concluding two things. First, that the value is found in consistently following the new routine. And second, that while this may be a valuable discipline there are additional factors that can influence how well I sleep.
This brings me back to my own personal framing of the discipline. It starts with this wonderful promise from our God: “We know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8.28) This assures us that as we reflect upon the three most significant events in the day gone by, they are (by our Lord’s promise and working) GAINS. Which means we can/should always end each day and begin the following one with gratitude … of course this requires us either to be searching for or trusting God that there is “a silver lining” to every story “for those who are called according to his purpose” – which includes all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus!
And, when we end and start our day with gratitude and praise to God, we enter the new day in a new way. We see it filled with opportunities for service (after all, we know our needs are all being met by the God who created us, redeemed us, loves us). This is really what faithfulness and stewardship is all about.
It starts with us recognizing our two-fold identity. We acknowledge that we are by nature sinful and unclean. However, by virtue of our baptism, our sin is forgiven … “as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103.12). We are covered/clothed with the righteousness of Jesus … the very one who “works (all things) together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” … which, if you think about it, even includes our selfish and sinful actions! It is from this freeing “identity point” that our daily lives end and begin. With gratitude toward God we reflect upon our three greatest GAINS of the day and then look forward to how we anticipate God will be at work in our lives in the day ahead.
And, as the authors suggest, what we view as negative experiences often provide the greatest opportunity for learning … as we are able to put the above ideas together, focusing up GAIN over GAP!
Gap and Gain